Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
