It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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