I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
