college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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