I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Randomize
