They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
