The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
