Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
