we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
