What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
