Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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