what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
