you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize