So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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