Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
