i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
