I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
why does every cop we meet know your name?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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