Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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