BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
