You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
