mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well I just put wine in my tea
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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