Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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