hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We're too hungover to prance.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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