Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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