You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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