He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
