Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
