This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
did you just send me my own nude
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