My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
