Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize