kristin has been a bad kristin
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
