mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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