You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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