I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
