There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize