she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
