we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
