Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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