The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Terrible idea I love it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
