So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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