He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
