I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
