i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
