Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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