just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
