I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
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I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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