I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
