i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize