they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
