Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
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I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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