All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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