I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
