You just made me feel so damn special
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
