We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
