One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
