TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i love accidental penises.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
