Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
