is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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