apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
