i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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