he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize